Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love. The real miracle is the love that inspires them. In this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle. - Marianne Williamson
Every day is Valentine’s Day for our family, but we try to show a little extra love to celebrate the day. Twenty eight years ago today I was a bride to who I have been asked to refer to as my “first” husband (ex-husband sounds so mean spirited). I know, it is terribly corny, but we couldn’t help ourselves. I get a lot of questions about my hubby. We met at church and after a short courtship, he proposed. There is something to be said for a man who knows what he wants and pursues it. It was all a little sudden for me, but we settled on February 14 as our wedding day. Of course there was a serious snow the night before. We incorporated a few cultural customs to the wedding day. When the doors opened for me to walk down the aisle, we hadn’t seen each other for a week. This is a Jewish wedding custom.
His mom clearly explained to me that he wasn’t ready for this responsibility, but we forged ahead. It is so important to observe a person through several situations to really know if they are a person you can trust to make decisions on your behalf. I tell people that my (first) husband got overwhelmed with the responsibilities of life. It is like wanting to run a marathon, but not wanting to train. After a while, you won’t be able to do it.
As it turns out, leaving was the nicest thing he ever did. He wasn’t equipped to handle a family, career and wife (Just like his mama said). It was early enough that the fellas (ages 4, almost 2 and in utero) didn’t notice his absence in their day to day activities, but his absence was very evident in the period of life when a son needs his father. At the end of the day, it took lots of prayer and supplication. My goal was to keep them busy, distracted, and loved. They had several contributors – good men who were willing to offer some direction. They came in the person of fellow church members, family, neighbors, co-workers, coaches, and dads of friends. Children are half dad and half mom so it is important to support and encourage both set of qualities. At the end of the day, it was my decision (good, bad or indifferent) to marry my husband and the resulting circumstances affected my sons' lives and how they see themselves.
I am so proud of my Valentines. They have grown into strong men. It has been fun watching them see people’s reaction when they share our story. To us, it’s just the way we lived. To people hearing the story for the first time, they hear the miracle in it all.
This week, I will be sharing new blog posts and revisiting some of my favorites. Will you help me boost the blog? Share the posts. Like the A Cord of Three Strands FB page. Use the hashtag #BoostTheBlog, or #3strands. Thank you.