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  • Writer's pictureStephanie Valentine

Letter to My Future Daughter-in-Love

Dear Daughter-in-Love,

I'm definitely looking forward to meeting and loving you. You undoubtedly had to survive a stringent vetting process. In the event that I don't get to meet you, these are the things I want you to know.

First of all, welcome to our family. We are a quirky bunch, a blend of passionate pursuers. It may be hard to work your way in at first, but once you get comfortable with us, you will definitely love us.

Each of my sons has their own distinctive views on the woman they are looking for, but I hope these things are consistent among the three of you.

You are a woman of faith - Understanding that faith will hold you together when the world is going crazy. As a Proverbs 31 woman, make your home a haven. I am depending on you to keep things comfortable, calm, and consistent – a place he looks forward to coming at the end of the day. He is responsible for providing you a sanctuary of strong arms. A place where you are protected, loved, and supported.

You are a highly confident, professional woman - Wearing jeans and a baseball cap is just as natural to you as getting dressed for a formal affair. You are passionate about helping to build something together, so you are comfortable making business plans and discussing your next business move. You also know how to save and handle money. You are ready to state your opposing view in a way that sparks conversation. Not in a way that is berating or demeaning. At the end of these discussions, you know how to agree to disagree and this disagreement is not reiterated at every convenient moment.

You are an inspiring woman – There are going to be times when he looks to you for encouragement. This may come in different ways. Sometimes he will just need to be reminded that you believe in him. I hope you will pray for him and with him daily. I hope you will have moments when he sees you across a crowded room and remembers how blessed he is to have you in his life. Those glances will never grow old. You will have causes that you are passionate about. You will be able to strike a strong balance between being there for your family and being an ardent supporter for these causes. You also understand the benefits of good nutrition and exercise.


You are an adventurous woman. Being a Valentine woman is a wild ride. One of the things that got us through our adventures was the ability to be adaptable, no matter what life brought us. Sometimes we get adventurous in the kitchen (My Christmas 2016 Paella). Be ready for impromptu trips, unplanned detours and spur of the moment changes. Order is necessary, yes, but please be willing to enjoy the ride. It will always end with a fun memory.

You are a woman of high standards. You know the name of the janitor and the CEO and you are not afraid to greet them when you walk through your place of business. You can host a corporate dinner and a little league end of the year party with excellence. You have charitable interests that you champion with enthusiasm and gusto. You have a strong pursuit for knowledge, knowing that your degree(s) are just the commencement of a life full of learning opportunities. Your English is impeccable with all of your subjects and verbs in agreement. Poke him (and roll your eyes if you need to) if he gets sloppy with this, especially if he says “This is just the way I talk.”

You are the glue that holds it together. I pray that you will enjoy a wonderful family. You will enjoy meals that the two of you have made together. When you cook, he is responsible for putting the food away and cleaning the kitchen. I know you will do the same for the days that he cooks. Some days you may want to eat out, but I hope that is the exception and not the rule. Whether it is a breakfast sandwich or breakfast in bed, knowing each other’s favorite dish or favorite restaurant, food is just one way we express our love for each other.

He is responsible for knowing the things that make you smile. He will be your motivator, your encourager, your support. I hope you will do the same for him.

Joyfully Yours,

Your future mother-in -love

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