A smart man makes a mistake, learns from it, and never makes that mistake again. But a wise man finds a smart man and learns from him how to avoid the mistake altogether. Roy H. Williams One of the things that isn't written about much is the guilt of single parenting. Many observations have been written about not being able to be in multiple places at the same time, be every woman as is sometimes necessary, and not wanting to take the needed, critical time for yourself. I am

"Exercise should be regarded as a tribute to the heart." Gene Tunney

I was quiet, but I was not blind. - Jane Austen Nothing boosts your confidence like family research or “finding your people”. In this COVID environment, you realize that it is no small miracle that your family survived this long. There are a myriad of events, diseases included, that could have stopped your lineage. You are definitely here by design. As I uncovered these wonderful names of people I had never met or heard of, I was inspired. There were many late nights research

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Maya Angelou When I returned to college for graduate school, I was able to secure a job in the Bursar’s office. I was the youngest in the group and my co-workers doted on me! I was so blessed to be around these fabulous ladies. We worked hard, but we also cared about each other. It was while I worked here that I started dating Mr. Valent

The delicate balance of mentoring someone is not creating them in your own image, but giving them the opportunity to create themselves. - Steven Spielberg Down through the years I have been so blessed to have women in my life who took the time to guide and direct me. I don’t know that they would call it mentoring per se, but there is a direction that comes with the sisterhood that naturally guides you to share your story, no matter how mundane you think it is. Sharing a bit o

What gives me the most hope every day is God's grace; knowing that his grace is going to give me the strength for whatever I face, knowing that nothing is a surprise to God. -Rick Warren Raising children is an uncertain thing; success is reached only after a life of battle and worry. -Democritus When my guys were little, bath time was the highlight of the day. When I picked them up from school, I would always ask, how was school today. I’d get the compulsory “Fine”. I’d follo

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. -Lao Tzu Aretha Franklin died last year. Her songs set the soundtrack for many through the years. I enjoy reading biographies. Learning a person’s journey is such an important component of appreciating where they currently are in life. In Ms. Franklin’s bio, they gave a description of her early days and then noted “and after her mother died”. Reading this I knew that her life too

Motherhood is more than bearing children, though it is certainly that. It is the essence of who we are as women. It defines our very identity, our divine stature and nature, and the unique traits our Father gave us. Sheri L. Dew It didn’t occur to me that I am odd until I started seeing these same qualities manifesting in my adult children. Now there are plenty of things that I do that are just strange, but I believe they are a result of necessity. Being the child of parent

You're not a dream,You're not an angel,You're a man I'm not a queen,I'm a woman,Take my hand We'll make a space In the lives That we'd planned And here you'll stay Until it's time,For you to go Recorded by Roberta Flack I promised you the story of how I became a single parent. In the last entry, We’re Moving Where? You heard how I got to be a Georgia resident. In retrospect, I can see the patterns so clearly, but at the time, I was relying too heavily on experience and good c

We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. - Joseph Campbell Have you ever known someone for a while and then all of a sudden, you see them differently? Our courtship had been a world wind to say the least. He’d returned to Atlanta after graduating from Morehouse and was working in the city. I was earning my graduate degree at night and working during the day. He seemed like a nice enough gentlemen – educated, well spoken, and

Nothing is so strong as gentleness, nothing so gentle as real strength. -Saint Francis de Sales Several harrowing stories have been told about public housing, especially in New York. Originally created for families who couldn’t afford to pay rent to private landlords back in the 1930s, this housing option opened new possibilities to families. In the 1940s legislation was passed to provide this housing to returning World War II veterans. Strict rules were imposed on the reside

An investment in knowledge pays the best interest. Benjamin Franklin Knowledge is power. Information is liberating. Education is the premise of progress, in every society, in every family. Kofi Annan It is the supreme art of the teacher to awaken joy in creative expression and knowledge. Albert Einstein One of our family objectives was to excel in education. My mother was a teacher and she passed that teacher spirit to me and my sister, who is also an educator. Having three s

Necessity dispenseth with decorum. -Thomas Carlyle No matter how old you are when your parents pass away, you feel like an orphan. My mother passed away a few months before my oldest son graduated from high school. All four of my grandparents were gone before I was 4 months old. I was really looking forward to having my mom there. My father passed away when my middle son was 8 years old. It is funny the things that remind me of my mom. I have some my mom things, a few of her

I hold it that a little rebellion now and then, is a good thing… - Thomas Jefferson When you have children it is just a matter of time before it rears its ugly head. Children naturally march toward the point when they can be independent, but sometimes that happens earlier than parents anticipate. It is at this point that you have to decide which battle to fight. My younger two tried to toe the line for the most part. To tell you the truth, the few moments that I would identif

"We all have dreams. But in order to make dreams come into reality, it takes an awful lot of determination, dedication, self-discipline, and effort.” — Jesse Owens I get questions about my (first) husband from time to time and I make it a point to focus on the good memories. The story about the Penn Relays is particularly appropriate for this time of year. He ran track in high school and college. I didn’t know him then, but I had seen pictures. The Penn Relays take place in

Creativity is intelligence having fun. – Albert Einstein Creativity is a wild mind and a disciplined eye. – Dorothy Parker I am the proud product of a very creative mother. Not only did she love music and dancing, she had wonderful approaches to parent. When I started kindergarten, you were expected to know how to say and spell your full name, your address, your parents’ names and your telephone number. My first name is nine letters long – an onerous task for someone 5 years

So teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12 This has been a challenging few weeks for me and my church family. Sometimes you don’t realize how much people really mean to you until they aren’t there anymore. It’s not that you didn’t love them and spend time with them. Their absence just leaves a chasm. She was the first friend I made when we moved to Atlanta. She and I were young wives with small babies. We were both older sisters – we each

If people want to find things, they find them themselves. Jimmy Page In our house, the place where we put all of the important stuff, notes, money, must see items, is in mom’s jewelry box. I don’t know if modern moms have jewelry boxes, but when I was a little girl, my mother’s jewelry box was a special place. It contained all of her treasured items, which to anyone else wasn’t much, but to us, the items held a lot of sentimental value. The same could be said about my jewelry

The greatest gifts you can give your children are the roots of responsibility and the wings of independence. -Denis Waitley The year was 1998. This was expected to be Michael Jordan’s last year in the league. There was talk of the Bulls not renewing Phil Jackson’s contract and if he left, MJ would be leaving too. So everything was in place. The game was coming on that night, everyone was bathed, fed and ready to watch the game. The master plan was coming together. This is bac

Mothers play an important role as the heart of the home, but this in no way lessens the equally important role fathers should play, as head of the home, in nurturing, training, and loving their children. - Ezra Taft Benson You already know that I adore my father. He was a loving, faithful and supportive presence in our life. He was ready to do whatever we needed to make sure we were taken care of. One of my favorite stories is about us going shopping for my elementary school